Step 3: The Spinning Poodle

Congratulations on making it to step 3 of our comprehensive guide to zero-gravity dance moves! You've mastered the art of flailing your arms and wiggling your ears in mid-air.

Today, we're going to tackle the Spinning Poodle, a move so complex it requires a PhD in physics and a background in competitive figure skating.

  1. Start by assuming the poodle position: bend your knees, arch your back, and fluff your... er, hair.

  2. As you begin to spin, imagine a tiny, adorable hamster is attached to your head, its beady little eyes fixed on the ceiling.

  3. Now, execute a flawless pirouette, but don't forget to compensate for the centrifugal force with a well-timed poodle-fectly-placed hair flip.

Pro Tips:

A poodle in zero gravity, looking very pleased with itself

Next Up: Step 4 - The Zero-Gravity Flossing Championship

Want to take your zero-G dance skills to the next level? Check out our advanced Neo-Brutalist tutorials, including zero-gravity tennis serving!