Grandmaster Brunelius' Toaster 9000: Because You Clearly Need More Fire

Behold, the most majestic of toasters. With 9000% more toasting power than your average toaster, this baby will make you the envy of all your friends and neighbors.

Features:

Toasts 9000% more than your average toaster
Has 10 different toasting settings, including "Extra Crunchy" and "Not On Fire"
Includes a built-in coffee machine that brews a fresh cup every time you toast

Toaster 9000 Specification Document (PDF) Toaster 9000 User Reviews Toaster 9000 Technical Specs