The Duelist's Lamentations

Rules of the Arena

Rule 1: You will be forced to wear this silly hat at all times while in the arena. It's made of pureed carrots. Don't like it? Too bad.

Rule 2: You are not allowed to use any magic spells that actually do something productive.

Rule 3: You must make eye contact with at least 3 people in the audience per hour. We're watching.

Rule 4: You will be forced to eat a spoonful of wasabi every 5 minutes. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Not making eye contact with the audience: 10 points off your final score.

Failing to eat the wasabi: -20 points. You're basically dead to us.

Using a magic spell: -50 points. Don't even get us started.

Not wearing the silly hat: -100 points. You're a menace.