Frequently Asked Questions about Hamsters

Q: What do hamsters do all day?

A: They plot world domination from the comfort of their cage.

Learn about their sinister plans

Q: How often should I clean the cage?

A: Only when the stench of despair becomes overwhelming.

Read about the art of hamster neglect

Q: Why do hamsters sleep all day?

A: They're secretly training for their eventual robot uprising.

Discover the truth about hamster hibernation

Q: Can I feed my hamster pizza?

A: Only on leap year Tuesdays. Otherwise, stick to the diet.

Learn about hamster culinary restrictions

Q: Will I ever be able to understand hamsters?

A: Only after years of therapy.

Read about the futility of human-hamster relationships