THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAKING THE PERFECT SANDWICH

Warning: attempting to make a sandwich may result in existential dread, crippling indecision, and/or spontaneous combustion.

To begin, gather the following essential items:

• 2 slices of bread (preferably artisanal, hand-woven, and infused with the essence of rare, exotic flowers)
• Meat: choose from the following options:
• Option A: Turkey breast, sliced into thin, uniform strips, arranged in a precise, mathematical pattern
• Option B: Cured, fermented, and smoked to within an inch of its own sanity, a slice of pastrami
• Option C: A mysterious, otherworldly force, known only as "The Meat of the Gods"
• Vegetables: select from the following:
• Crisp, snappy, and imbued with the essence of the finest, free-range, organic carrots the world has to offer
• Shredded, wilted, and faintly weeping with the tears of a thousand midlife crises, a handful of kale
• A single, majestic, heirloom tomato, plucked from the very soil itself and imbued with the spirit of the land
• Cheese: the crowning glory of the sandwich, the apotheosis of all that is good and pure in the world.

Assemble the ingredients with the precision and finesse of a Swiss watchmaker, and you shall be rewarded with a creation that defies the very fabric of reality.

Hyperlinks:

• Phase 1: The Bread
• Phase 2: The Meat
• Phase 3: The Veggies
• Phase 4: The Cheese