High-Top Secret Agent Perks | Classified

Free Unlimited Bubble Wrap

As a high-clearance agent, you are entitled to an endless supply of bubble wrap for all your clandestine correspondence. Because, you know, who doesn't love popping those little bubbles?

Submit a bubble wrap request

Exclusive Access to Top-Shelf Bar

Free Unlimited Bubble Wrap

As a high-clearance agent, you are entitled to an endless supply of bubble wrap for all your clandestine correspondence. Because, you know, who doesn't love popping those little bubbles?

Submit a bubble wrap request

Exclusive Access to Top-Shelf Bar

With your high-clearance status, you get VIP treatment at our top-shelf bar, serving only the finest moonshine and discount Cheetos. Because, you know, who needs a social life when you can have cheap booze and stale snacks?

Bar hours and happy hour specials

Personalized Identity Swap Services

Need a new cover story? Our team of expert forgers will craft you a new persona in no time. Just don't tell anyone our little secret, wink-wink.

Request a new identity

Check mission status

Update your agent profile

Contact us (if you must)

Terms of Use (because we have to say that)

Cookie Policy (just kidding, we're not even allowed cookies)

Bubble Wrap Requests | Top-Shelf Bar Hours | Identity Swap Requests