Are you tired of being tied to the digital world? Do you yearn to feel the satisfying splash of a water-based liberation? Look no further than Human Solutions' patented (not really) "Throw Your Device in the Pool" service!
Our team of highly trained (not really) aquatic engineers will guide you through the process, ensuring your device is submerged in a safe and fun environment. Don't worry, we'll even provide complimentary bug spray for those pesky water bugs.
But wait, there's more! As a valued customer, you'll receive:
- A complimentary "I Survived the Digital Apocalypse" t-shirt
- A personalized "I Threw My Device in the Pool" certificate of completion
- A 10% discount on our "Lost and Found" service, where we'll try (and probably fail) to recover your phone from the bottom of the pool