Love Isn't a Choice, but the Haircut Is: A Guide to Optimal Relationship Maintenance

Love is a many-splendored thing. It's like trying to find a decent hair stylist who won't give you a bad highlights job. It's not something you can choose, but you can certainly choose to maintain it.

Step 1: Don't be a Cheesy Romatic

Love isn't all about grand gestures and sappy sonnets. It's about small, everyday things like not leaving the toilet seat up and not eating the last slice of pizza.

Step 2: Communicate Like a Pro

Love is 90% communication, 10% Netflix binge-watching, and 0% actually talking about your feelings. But seriously, talk about your feelings.