| 100 |
Single-ply, threadbare, and utterly forgettable. |
| 200 |
Double-ply, slightly less threadbare. |
| 300 |
Triple-ply, almost decent, but still a bit gappy. |
| 400 |
Quadruple-ply, nearly impressive, but with some lingering holes. |
| 500 |
Quintuple-ply, nearly opulent, with a hint of ostentation. |
| 600 |
Sextuple-ply, truly remarkable, with a touch of sophistication. |
| 700 |
Septhuple-ply, extravagantly luxurious, and possibly haunted. |
| 800 |
Octuple-ply, opulently ostentatious, and possibly possessed. |
| 900 |
Nearly nonuple-ply, on the verge of transcendence, but still a bit gassy. |
| 1000 |
Nonuple-ply, utterly transcendent, and possibly sentient. |