Tip 3: The Art of Not Dying in the Wilderness

Don't Be a Human Popsicle

Listen, we all know you're not as outdoorsy as you claim. You still can't find your way out of a paper bag, let alone a dense forest. But that's okay! With our expert advice, you might just make it out alive.

Step 1: Don't Wear Bright Colors. Trust us, the squirrels are not your friends.

Step 2: Learn the art of making a decent fire without setting off a forest fire alarm.

Step 3: Find a nice comfy rock to sit on. Preferably one with good phone signal.

Read on for more tips, or just click the next button to pretend you're still interested.