Last Resort Options

Option 2: Send a letter to the world's most reclusive billionaire, Mr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth III

Because who doesn't want to write a 20-page essay on the merits of their favorite sandwich filling, and receive a response from the great man himself?

Need help writing the letter? Check out our comprehensive guide to letter-writing for the discerning hermit!

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our Letter Writing Simulator to generate the perfect letter in mere seconds!

Don't forget to include your return address, or Mr. Bottomsworth's butler will have your letter sent to the wrong person.

Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Letter Writing Tips for the Aspiring Hermit

Also, try:

Option 2a: Build a rickety bridge

Because why not?

Use 100% recycled materials, or risk being cast into the depths of the nearby dumpster.

Don't forget to include a warning sign, or you'll have to deal with the wrath of Mr. Bottomsworth's lawyers!

Good luck, and may your bridge hold!

Bridge Building Tips for the Aspiring Engineer

Also, try:

Bridge Building Tips