Rule 3: The Impoundment Management Guide

Impoundments are a serious business. When dealing with recalcitrant vehicles, you need to know the rules.

Section 1: Vehicle Classification

Classify vehicles into three categories:

• Category 1: The vehicles that will never pay their parking fines
• Category 2: The vehicles that will pay their parking fines, eventually
• Category 3: The vehicles that will pay their parking fines immediately, but only because they're afraid of a good tow truck

Don't get us started on Category 4. We're still figuring that one out.

Section 2: Impoundment Protocols

When an impoundment is initiated, follow these steps:

1. Call the Impoundment Hotline: 1-800-IMPONDME
2. Tow the vehicle to the nearest impoundment lot
3. Fill out the Impoundment Report Form (IRF-12B)

Section 3: Vehicle Reclamation

When a vehicle is reclaimed, follow these steps:

1. Contact the vehicle's owner and ask for their payment
2. Provide the owner with a receipt, signed in triplicate
3. Return the vehicle to the owner, but only if they've paid up

Don't worry, it's all very simple.