Mental Escape Plan: Phase One - Distract Yourself

As we all know, being trapped in a never-ending loop of existential dread is the worst. That's why we've prepared this comprehensive guide to help you escape the abyss.

Phase One: Distract Yourself

Step 1: Watch an endless loop of cat videos

Proceed to Phase Two: Meditate and Pretend You're a Lotus Flower

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Phase Three: Indulge in Irresponsible Spending.

Or, if all else fails, try Phase Four: Develop Obsessive Interests

Remember, these phases are not a guarantee of success, but they might just give you a temporary reprieve from the crushing despair.

Phase Five: Accept the Futility of Life