Standard 1: The Art of Proper Spaghetti Topping

John Doe's evaluation: 8/10. The sauce-to-pasta ratio was spot on, but the use of only 3 types of meat was a disappointment.

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Standard 2: The Importance of Using Only Organic, Free-Range, Gluten-Free Ingredients

John Doe's evaluation: 4/10. The chef's commitment to using only organic, free-range, gluten-free ingredients made the dish taste like cardboard.

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Standard 3: The Art of Proper Spatting in the Face of an Overcooked Meal

John Doe's evaluation: 6/10. The spatting was a bit too aggressive, but the use of a fork was a nice touch.

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Disclaimer: The standards presented here are subject to change at any moment without notice. The opinions expressed are solely those of John Doe, who is not a professional. Do not attempt to replicate these standards without consulting a licensed professional (or at least, someone with a decent sense of humor).