Q: What are the most essential communication skills?
A: The ability to speak without making eye contact, while simultaneously checking your phone. It's a delicate balance, like juggling chainsaws while reciting Shakespearean sonnets.
Q: How do I improve my communication skills?
A: Practice your 'Active Listening' technique: pretend to listen, nod vigorously, and interject with your own unrelated thoughts 30 seconds later. It's a proven method, we swear.
Q: What if I'm stuck in an awkward silence?
A: Break the silence with your most creative use of the phrase 'I'm so glad we're having this conversation.' Repeat it three times, with increasing volume, and watch as the other person involuntarily exits the room.