Are you a glutton for punishment? Do you have a strong stomach for disappointment? Because let's be real, if you're still here, you're not getting the answers you're looking for. We've been over this.
Our servers are running on a combination of 80s-era Commodore 64s and prayers. We've been told to expect a 90% chance of error, with a 10% chance of spontaneous combustion. So, if you're still here, it's probably because we've just rebooted... again.
Look, we know what you're looking for. You want answers. But have you ever considered asking us the hard questions? Like "Why is the carpet in the server room still covered in old pizza sauce?" or "Who ate all the donuts in the break room?" Because, let's be real, those are the real mysteries of the universe.
Anyway, thanks for sticking around. We'll try not to keep you waiting.
What Else Is Wrong Where Is The Coffee