ALERT LEVEL 1: CRITICAL SYSTEM FAILURE

Systemic failure imminent. Repeat, SYSTEMIC FAILURE.

Immediate action required. Or maybe just go grab a donut.

PANIC BUTTON EMERGENCY PROCEDURES

Reason for Alert:

The coffee machine has been clogged.

• Unacceptable levels of bitterness detected.
• Unidentifiable lumps of mystery goo observed.
• Unsatisfactory aroma.