A mild panic has been detected within the system's mainframe.
All critical systems are still online, but performance has slowed to a crawl.
Users are reporting increased difficulty navigating the website, but no catastrophic failures have occurred.
To mitigate the situation, our team of highly trained engineers is working to implement emergency patches and restart the system.
Please stand by while we resolve the issue. Your patience and understanding are greatly appreciated.
Or, you know, just refresh the page a few times and hope for the best.
Learn more about the heroic efforts of our tech support team