Our Mission

Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to respond to any invasion in the most unprofessional way possible.

We specialize in getting lost, eating all the snacks, and forgetting our mission objectives.

When the chips are down, we'll be the ones asking "what's the plan again?"

Our Strengths

We have a proven track record of being late, disorganized, and completely outgunned.

We have a deep understanding of the phrase "we'll get to it eventually" and we use it often.

Our Weaknesses

We have a tendency to argue over whose turn it is to drive the tank.

We often forget our own names, let alone the location of the enemy's base.

And we can't seem to remember where we put our maps.

Our Team Members

Meet our fearless leader, Captain "I'll get to it eventually" Jenkins.

Meet our tactical genius, Lieutenant "I'll just press the 'B' button" Thompson.

Meet our resident snack expert, Corporal "I'll just eat the whole box" Smith.

Squad Leader: Where the buck stops, but only after we take a nap. Squad Tactical: Where we make up new strategies as we go. Field Marshal: Where we pretend to be in charge, but really we're just winging it.