Available Job Openings

Welcome to the most grueling, soul-crushing job openings in the galaxy!

Requirements:

Must be able to withstand 3000 hours of non-stop robotic screaming.

Must have experience with welding, riveting, and/or cursing.

Must be able to operate in 4D space.

Free access to the company break room, stocked with stale coffee and despair.

Complimentary robotic earplugs.

Free on-site therapy sessions, because you'll need it.

Apply within the next 5 minutes.

Must be able to withstand the constant presence of paradoxical dust bunnies.

Must have experience in temporal janitorial work.

Must be able to navigate the space-time continuum without getting lost.

Free use of the time machine.

Complimentary temporal displacement insurance.

Free therapy sessions, because time travel is hard on the mind.

Apply within the next 2 minutes, before the timeline gets any more complicated.

Must be able to calculate the probability of everything, all the time.

Must have experience with Schrödinger's equation.

Must be able to explain it to the non-physicists on your team.

Free access to the on-site particle accelerator.

Complimentary quantum entanglement insurance.

Free on-site therapy sessions, because quantum mechanics is hard on the mind.

Apply within the next 5 seconds, before the universe collapses.

Must be able to think 3 steps ahead of the robots.

Must have experience with robotic psychology.

Must be able to outsmart the AI that's trying to outsmart you.

Free access to the company's secret underground bunker.

Complimentary robot-whisperer training.

Free on-site therapy sessions, because surviving a robot uprising is hard on the mind.

Apply within the next 10 minutes, before the robots stage a coup.