Membership Has Its Benefits

Welcome to the most exclusive club in town! Join us for:

Free access to our secret recipe for the world's best nachos

A 50% discount on all our overpriced merchandise

A chance to win a year's supply of our exclusive brand of artisanal, small-batch, handcrafted pickles

And, of course, a complimentary membership card that looks really nice on your wall

Membership is just $1000 a year. Pay now and join the club

Or, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a small fortune to our cause

Already a member? Visit our member's page for exclusive content

Still not sold? Learn more about our mission

Our President in a hockey mask

Note: All members are required to wear a suit and tie at all times. Failure to do so will result in a 10% penalty on your membership fee.