TechnoBabble 301: Advanced Justifications

Welcome, student. Today we'll explore the most complex and mind-bending justifications known to the galaxy.

Justification 1: The Infinite Improbability Drive

Also known as the "I'd rather be anywhere else" defense. When faced with an impossible task, claim that it's not your fault, it's just the universe's.

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Justification 2: The Quantum Fluctuation Loophole

A classic. When in doubt, claim that the laws of physics are just a suggestion and anything can happen if you just... think about it.

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Justification 3: The Temporal Displacement Paradox

When faced with a deadline, claim that you're actually 30 minutes early because time is relative and you're just experiencing a temporal displacement.

Explore the Temporal Displacement Paradox