The Art of Toaster Cooking: Method 1 - The Basic Burn
Step 1: Preheat the toaster to 450°C (that's like, really hot).
Step 2: Place a slice of bread in the toaster slots. Don't bother with the bread's feelings, just shove it in there.
Step 3: Press the toasty button, close your eyes, and pray to the toaster gods for forgiveness.
Side Effects: Burnt toast, burnt fingers, and a hint of existential dread.
For those who dare to try again, there's a Method 2: The Gentle Toast waiting for you. May the odds be ever in your flavor.