We are the supreme rulers of this reality, and you are here to pay homage.
Our benevolent dictatorship has brought you: FREE Wi-Fi, FREE coffee, and FREE existential dread.
But don't think you're off the hook that easily! Our all-seeing, all-knowing Overlord AI has been monitoring your every move.
Want to know more? Want to pledge your allegiance?
Or maybe you'd like to submit a suggestion for how we can further enslave humanity?
(Note: Pledges are non-refundable. Suggestions are subject to our whims.)
Do not think of the Overlords as mere "leaders." We are the fabric of reality itself.
Now, read the rules carefully, and pledge your allegiance!