Abusive Parenting 101: The Guide to Raising Tiny Humans

Lesson 7: Using Fear as a Teaching Tool

Ah, yes. Because nothing says "good parenting" like making your child live in fear of your wrath. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Make your child do chores for hours on end, with no breaks, and no praise. This will teach them the value of hard work and the joy of feeling constantly drained.
2. Use a "tough love" approach, where you make them feel worthless and unloved. This will teach them to seek external validation from anyone who will give it, including strangers on the internet.
3. Make them clean their room every five minutes, or face the consequences. These consequences should be arbitrary and unpredictable, but always involve taking away their favorite toy or game.

And don't forget the most important thing: never, ever, apologize.