The Bunker: Where Meetings Go to Die

Located beneath the earth's crust, where the Wi-Fi is free, but the snacks are not.

Escape Routes

Don't get stuck here! Our escape routes are designed to keep you from getting lost in the bureaucratic labyrinth of The Bunker.

Take the elevator to the left, or the stairs to the right. Just don't get too close to the coffee machine, it's been known to turn on you.

Survival Tips

It's every person for themselves down here. Bring a snack, and a sense of humor.

Don't talk to the janitor, he's been here since the Reagan administration.

Lost and Found

Looking for your favorite pen? The one that always seemed to work? Yeah, we have that too.

Check the vending machine, it's been holding onto a few things for years.

Maintenance Schedule

Our maintenance schedule is as follows:

  1. Mondays: Broken escalators
  2. Tuesdays: Failing fluorescent lights
  3. Wednesdays: Randomly placed fire alarms
  4. Thursdays: The coffee machine will be turned off, but only for maintenance.
  5. Fridays: The entire east wing will be locked down for "security reasons".
  6. Saturdays and Sundays: The weekend.