Day 1: "The Article" by Anonymous

Summary:

Readers have been reading "The Article" for 24 hours and 24 minutes and 12 seconds, but have not yet finished it. The article, a 5-page treatise on the meaning of life, has been deemed "utterly fascinating" by 3 of the 10 people who have read it.

Current readership: 7

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Subpage 2: Side Effects of Prolonged Reading

Causes of Concern:

Nausea, Dizziness, and a growing sense of existential dread have been reported in 9 out of 10 readers.

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