Curse of the Ancients

A legendary curse said to afflict anyone who dares to touch the sacred artifacts of the Elders. Symptoms include: spontaneous combustion, involuntary flatulence, and an intense urge to listen to elevator music.

Caused by: The Elders' disdain for modern entertainment.

Cure: None known, but a good exorcist can try.

Curse of the Forgotten

A curse that afflicts those who forget their own names. Symptoms include: memory loss, confusion, and an intense fear of being called "Bob".

Caused by: The Curse of Forgetting (a real thing, we swear).

Cure: Write your name on a piece of paper, then eat it.

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