MANDATE-12: Performance Metrics for Supreme Efficiency

As a seasoned professional, you're probably aware that your work is constantly being judged by the all-knowing MANDATE-12 algorithm. This behemoth of a metric tracks your every move, from the number of pixels you've rendered to the number of meetings you've survived. But don't worry, we've got you covered.

Below are the top 5 performance metrics for the most discerning professionals among you.

• Metric 1: Rendered Pixels - A measure of how many pixels you've rendered in the past week. Because, let's face it, who needs a social life when you can render pixels?
• Metric 2: Meetings Served - The number of meetings you've endured without losing your mind (or your lunch).
• Metric 3: Average Response Time - How quickly you respond to emails, IMs, or Slack messages. Because, let's be real, who needs a break?
• Metric 4: Cups of Coffee Consumed - The number of cups of coffee you've consumed while working. A direct correlation with productivity, we assure you.
• Metric 5: Redundant Comments Removed - The number of unnecessary comments you've deleted from that email thread. A sign of your exceptional filtering skills.

View your MANDATE-12 Scorecard