Answer the Phone, Please
Why, oh why, do we have to answer the phone? Is it not enough that our fingers can tap out responses to the world's most pressing questions on this very screen?
Alas, no. The phone is a relic of a bygone era, a remnant of a time when people actually had to talk to each other face-to-face... or, you know, face-to-earpiece.
Read about phone etiquette Peruse phone-themed jokesWe have a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated phone-answering experts standing by, ready to field your call.
Or, you know, just press 0 for an automated response, because, let's be real, that's basically the same thing, right?
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From phone-surgery to phone-therapy, we have the solutions to all your phone-related problems.
Because, honestly, who needs human contact when you can just call someone and talk to a machine?
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