Q: What's the point of this service?
A: Because talking to yourself is boring, we provide you with someone who will just listen.
Q: Will you judge me?
A: Only if you're wearing pleated pants, in which case, we're judging you hard.
Q: Can I get a prescription for my existential crisis?
A: Not here, but we can offer you a strongly worded letter of support.
Q: How do I access the phone therapy service?
A: Just dial 1-800-NEO-TALKS, and our automated system will guide you through the process.
Q: What's the cost?
A: Free, because we're not making any money off your emotional pain, but our lawyers are on standby.
Q: Is this service HIPAA compliant?
A: HIPAA? Ha! We're not a real doctor, we're just a guy with a headset and a strong opinion.
Q: Can I trust you with my deepest secrets?
A: No, but you can prophets them prophets, if that's your thing.
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