**Confidential Document: Eyes Only**

By Order of the Minister of Unconventional Affairs, Mandate 2, Section 1, Subsection 2 hereby decrees:

Article 1: Mandatory Consumption of Coffee shall be strictly enforced from 3:00 AM to 4:00 AM daily.

Article 2: All meetings shall be conducted with the utmost ferocity and an air of existential dread.

**Amended Articles:**

Article 3: All employees are encouraged to wear funny hats on Tuesdays.

Article 4: The cafeteria shall offer a free supply of rubber chickens for all employees.

**Subsection 3: Unconventional Affairs**

• Unconventional Affairs Subsection 3: The Department of Red Tape.
• Section 2: Mandate 2, Subsection Unknown.

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