In the interest of maximum efficiency, we have established the Justification Protocol. This is a comprehensive guide to doing as little work as possible, while still appearing productive.
Step 1: Create a complex spreadsheet to justify your lack of progress.
Step 2: Use buzzwords like "synergy" and "paradigm" to describe your non-existent output.
Step 3: Develop a comprehensive theory of why you can't do the task at hand.
Step 4: Present your theory in a 50-page report, complete with flowcharts and diagrams.
Step 5: Bask in the glory of your own cleverness as you receive praise and bonuses from your superiors.
Want more justifications?
Section 9: The Art of Distractions