I ate the last slice of cake because, let's face it, I'm a grown-up and I deserve it.
Justification 1: Cake is the answer.
Justification 2: I was testing the structural integrity of the cake plate. It was a science experiment.
Justification 3: The cake was clearly sentient and begged me to eat it. I'm not making this up, it's a real thing, I swear.