Welcome, student, to the esteemed University of Overthinking, where the art of navel gazing is taken very seriously. Mandate 3, the third and most crucial edict of our institution, dictates that you must spend at least 4 hours a day contemplating your navel, lest you be cast into the outer darkness of unfulfillment.
We're not just talking about any old navel here, folks. No, no. We're referring to the sacred, majestic, and awe-inspiringly complex navel that is the center of your being. You must gaze upon it, ponder its mysteries, and bemoan its lack of eyebrows.
For the next three semesters, you'll be expected to produce 10,000-word essays on the topic of navel-related existential crises, complete with flowcharts and diagrams illustrating the interconnectedness of your belly button and the universe.
Remember, the fate of humanity rests on the shoulders of your navel gazing. Do not disappoint.
For more on the finer points of Navel Gazing 101, please visit our FAQ and Philosophical Frequently Asked Questions page.
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