The Unpunished Ones: A List of Crimes So Insignificant, They're Not Even Worth Punishing
Taking a Third Helping of Coffee
Failing to Recharge Your Phone
What Happens When You Turn the Last Page
Reader Privileges and Last Page Use
Coffers and the Caffeine Trade-Off
It seems you've stumbled upon the lesser crimes, a catalog of transgressions so minor, they're almost not even worth mentioning. But fear not, for these infractions will not go unpunished... or will they?
It's a travesty, a catastrophe, a travesty-tastrophe! You've managed to cook your eggs for 2.5 seconds too long. How will you live with the shame of undercooked whites and overcooked yolks?
Ah, the cardinal sin of the book-reading world. You've committed the unforgivable offense of turning the last page. The world is no doubt ending as we speak, and all because you just had to know what happens next.
You've succumbed to the allure of caffeine's dark side. Your coffee-fueled productivity has turned into a caffeine-fueled haze, and all because you just couldn't resist that third cup.
Your phone's battery is dead, your life is over. Well, not really, but it's definitely not functioning at 100%. The world will surely end in 10 minutes, and it's all because you didn't plug it in.
The Ministry of Mandate Enforcement has deemed these crimes worthy of documentation and ridicule. Please do not attempt to actually punish these offenders. They will likely just laugh in your face.
You can explore more of these lesser crimes at:
Taking a Third Helping of Coffee
Failing to Recharge Your Phone
Coffers and the Caffeine Trade-Off
Phone-astrophysics and the Laws of Battery Conservation
If you're feeling overwhelmed, try our Support Group for those struggling with these lesser crimes.
This site is for entertainment purposes only, and any actual crimes committed on the basis of these suggestions will not be condoned or encouraged.