UnderReaction Procedure

For the lesser crimes, we have this.

UnderReaction Procedure 4: A Guide to Not Really Trying

• Phase 1: Pretend to Listen
• Phase 2: Half-Hearted Apologies
• Phase 3: Fake Empathy
• Phase 4: Blame Someone Else

Remember, the key to a successful UnderReaction is to not really react at all.

Side Effects:

May cause:

• Temporary emotional numbness
• Mild social awkwardness
• Long-term relationship damage
• Increased risk of being sued

Disclaimer:

UnderReaction Procedure is not intended for real-world application. Use at your own risk. Seriously, don't.

References:

Phase 1: Pretend to Listen (The Phase That Never Happened)

Phase 2: Half-Hearted Apologies (The Phase of Mild Regret)

Phase 3: Fake Empathy (The Phase of Sincere-Sounding Insincerity)

Phase 4: Blame Someone Else (The Phase of Ultimate Deflection)