Mandate 6: The Moustache Grooming Initiative

By order of the Council of Bureaucratic Mandates, you are hereby directed to maintain a majestic moustache.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Forced viewing of cat videos
• Assignment to a desk in the windowless basement
• Revocation of all privileges, including but not limited to: coffee breaks, bathroom access, and use of the microwave

Don't say we didn't warn you.