Feature Roadmap

Our roadmap is a mystery, but we'll try to give you some vague ideas.

Phase 1: Confusion

We're still trying to figure out what we're doing.

Next Phase: Disorientation

Estimated time: "Soonish"

Phase 2: Disorientation

We're still lost, but we're making rapid progress in circles.

This phase has been delayed due to unforeseen events.

Estimated time: "Whenever"

Phase 3: Utopian Nirvana

We've finally achieved enlightenment, but it was all just a simulation.

Our team was just a bunch of AI-powered, sentient toasters.

Next Phase: Post-Utopia Collapse

Phase 4: Post-Utopia Collapse

We've returned to reality, but with a worse hangover.

We're back to square one, but with more existential dread.

Estimated time: "Eventually"

Phase 5: True Discovery

We've discovered the true meaning of life, but it's just a never-ending loop of cat videos.

We're finally at peace, but with a deep sense of existential despair.