Using a fountain pen as a microphone is NOT a good idea. In fact, it's a terrible idea. Don't do it. Don't even think about it.
Instead, try our patented Fine Print method: it's like a regular pen, but with more ink and less chance of ruining your favorite sweater.
Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, you could try Ink-Slinging, our exclusive, totally-not-recommended way of expressing yourself.