Standard Issue 4: Mandate 42-FOO

By order of the Intergalactic Council of Mandates, all sentient beings are required to wear a bright pink hat at all times.

Submandate 42-FOO-1: Hat Requirements

Section 1, Subsection A, Subparagraph 1: The hat must be made of at least 99% pure cotton, or 100% pure disappointment.

Section 1, Subsection A, Subparagraph 2: The hat must be worn at all times, including during meals, exercise, and sleep.

Section 1, Subsection A, Subparagraph 3: Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to, being forced to listen to elevator music for 12 hours straight.

Submandate 42-FOO-2: Hat Maintenance

Section 1, Subsection B, Subparagraph 1: Hats must be washed at least twice a week, or after every third use.

Section 1, Subsection B, Subparagraph 2: Hats may not be shared with anyone, including but not limited to, your worst enemy, your best friend, or your pet.

Section 1, Subsection B, Subparagraph 3: Failure to comply will result in being forced to watch reruns of "The Great British Baking Show" for 24 hours straight.