By the power vested in me, I hereby decree that all employees will henceforth refer to the break room coffee machine as "The Lifeblood of the Office." Any failure to do so shall result in disciplinary action.
Article 1: Section 2, Subsection A, Paragraph 3 states that all meetings shall be conducted in the conference room, located in the depths of the third dimension, and shall not exceed 3 hours and 14 minutes.
For your convenience, the following links are provided:
Failure to comply with these mandates will result in the immediate revocation of your parking privileges.
These mandates are subject to change without notice, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Or are they?
Do not attempt to appeal or negotiate. It will not end well.
Do not attempt to use the vending machine on the 3rd floor. It's just not worth it.