MANDATE 5: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

IN WHICH WE DECLARE OUR INDEPENDENCE FROM SANITY

We, the undersigned, have reached a breaking point. We can no longer abide the whims of our overlords, the whims of our betters, or the whims of our neighbors' pets. It's time for MANDATE 5, the most extreme and unyielding declaration of independence this side of the equator.

Join us, and together we shall:

• Refuse to wear matching socks
• Refuse to use our real names
• Refuse to eat anything that's not pizza
• Refuse to participate in any activity that involves actual human interaction

But wait, there's more! If you're feeling extra bold, you can:

• Refuse to wear pants
• Refuse to use a phone
• Refuse to eat anything that's not pizza
• Refuse to participate in any activity that involves actual human interaction

MANDATE 6: THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED

MANDATE 7: THE SEQUEL TO THE REVOLUTION