On this fine Tuesday, we bring you the most epic of Mandate-grams. A decree of such magnitude, it shall be etched in the annals of history. Or, at the very least, on a dusty corner of the internet.
By order of the Supreme Mandate-gramming Council, we hereby establish the Sock-it-to-us-forever Mandate, Article the Third, Section the Second: All citizens are hereby required to wear socks of sufficient brightness to outshine the sun.
Failure to comply shall result in the immediate implementation of the dreaded Sock-It-Or-Else Protocol, wherein one's pants shall be subject to random and severe sock-ectomy.