Effective immediately, all employees are required to don a tie for every workday, even Fridays. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to: public shaming, demotion, and/or forced attendance to a 3-hour tie-tying seminar.
View Revisions and ClarificationsEffective immediately, all company communications will be conducted in the esteemed font of choice: Comic Sans. Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: re-reading of the company's 300-page font policy binder, followed by a grueling 2-hour session with our font consultant.
View Revisions and ClarificationsStay tuned for new mandates, folks! And don't forget, your tie!
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