Expert Tip 1: Start by setting a timer for exactly 7 minutes. This will ensure you don't get too distracted to notice the impending doom of cheese-stained regret.
Expert Tip 2: Use a fork, but only to spear the most essential pieces. The crust is for the gods, and the cheese is for the common folk.
Learn more about the art of secret sauce application
See more expert tips from our team of certified gluttonsWe have a special tip for the most discerning palate:
Expert Tip 3: When faced with an open-faced pizza, stare directly into the eyes of the pizza and challenge it to a staring contest.
Expert Tip 4: If you lose, start over.
Take it to the next level with our advanced gluttony techniques