By order of the Ministry of Redundancy, it is hereby declared that the Stapler Golf of 2023 shall be played with a 3-iron.
Article 1.1: The ball used shall be a regulation golf ball, with a diameter of 1.68 inches.
Article 1.2: The golf course shall be a minimum of 6,000 yards long, with at least 18 holes of extreme difficulty.
Article 1.3: The player shall be required to wear a pair of plaid pants at all times during play.
Article 2.1: The golf clubs shall be made of solid titanium, with a minimum weight of 3.5 pounds each.
Article 2.2: The golf balls shall be painted with a minimum of 12 different colors, in a repeating pattern.
Article 3.1: Any player who fails to wear plaid pants shall be subject to a penalty of 10 extra strokes per hole.
Article 3.2: Any player who uses a non-regulation golf ball shall be subject to a penalty of 20 extra strokes per hole.
Article 3.3: Any player who fails to complete the course within the allotted time of 10 hours and 30 minutes shall be subject to a penalty of 50 extra strokes.