In response to the recent allegations surrounding Operation Pizza Gate, a high-level source has come forward with explosive testimony. According to this trusted insider, the government's pizza procurement program has been riddled with corruption and deceit.
Classified documents reveal: that high-ranking officials have been using taxpayer dollars to fund their own pizza parties, complete with artisanal anchovies and craft beer.
When questioned about the allegations, the Director of Operation Pizza Gate remained tight-lipped, but our source reports: "The pizza is always a-go."
Transcripts of the investigation are available upon request.