MANDATE 12, SECTION 4.1: The Unofficial Guide to Procrastination
Procrastination is a skill. A delicate balance of art and science. A finely tuned machine of avoidance and delay.
But, let us be real, sometimes it's hard to get anything done. That's where this guide comes in. A comprehensive, albeit unofficial, guide to getting absolutely nothing done.
Step 1: The Classic
Step one: make a cup of coffee. Or, better yet, make two. You can never go wrong with two cups.
Next, grab a snack. Something with a high sugar content, preferably with a side of regret.
Step 2: The Distractions
Surf the web. Browse aimlessly. You can never have too many tabs open.
Or, if you're feeling fancy, try a bit of cat video. Who doesn't love watching cat videos, really?
Step 3: The Justify
Find a reason, any reason, to not do the thing you're supposed to be doing.
It could be a phone call, a text, or even a social media post. Anything to justify the delay.