Probationary Notice 15

You have been issued this mandate on the 15th occasion of your egregious behavior. Please take this as a formal warning that your actions will no longer be tolerated.

As per the dictates of our esteemed Council of Disproportionate Punishment, you are hereby ordered to:

• Perform 100 hours of community service, preferably in a location with a strong Wi-Fi signal.
• Write a 5,000 word essay on the importance of punctuality and personal responsibility.
• Donate a minimum of $50 to the Sarcasm Research Institute.

Failure to comply with these demands will result in further action, including but not limited to:

• Revocation of your privileges to use the microwave in the break room.
• Removal of your name from the company's annual Christmas card list.
• Assignment to a new, more unpleasant workgroup.

View your current status and upcoming mandates Learn about the revocation process